Casual Attire Acceptable

Obama’s senior staff meeting.

Obama: All right, everybody, let’s get started. Rahm, you look like you have something to say.

Emanuel: Oh, hell yeah! I think we’re finally starting to get some traction with those f*****g blue dogs in the House, and as soon as we can con them into voting for the Senate bill…

Obama [holds up a commanding hand]: No, I meant that maybe you’d like to explain why you’re sitting there in the nude.

Emaunel: Oh, that. I just got out of the shower.

Obama: What, you don’t have any towels?

Emanuel: Don’t need ‘em. I shook myself thoroughly before entering the room.

Biden: Rahm, you’re lowering the dignity of this meeting.

Obama: You’re absolutely right, Joe. If only he had thought to wear an orange wig and a plastic red nose.

Biden: Oops! Sorry. I forgot to take them off when I got back from my trip to Israel, where I was rejuvenating the peace process.

Obama: How did that go, by the way?

Biden: Uh…Say, I’ll just run down the hall and get Rahm a bathrobe [gets out of his chair and jogs out of the room, the sound of floppy clown shoes slapping on the floor receding into the distance]

Obama [noticing Robert Gibbs sticking a pipe in his mouth] Uh-uh, Robert. I’d like to smoke, too, but Michelle’s been on me about it like…like…

Emanuel: Like stink on s**t?

Obama [glares at Emanuel]: Like fruit flies on a banana; she doesn’t want anybody else smoking around me, either.

Gibbs: Not to worry, Mr. P. [blows into his pipe, which overflows with bubbles; giggles hysterically]

Obama [sighs]: Ok, Robert, I heard that you took another shot at the Supreme Court at the press conference - which is fine by me – but did you have to wear the t-shirt with the picture of Chief Justice Roberts done up in a Joker face? And what does the word “SCROTUS” mean?

Gibbs [giggling again]: That stands for “Supreme Chief Retard of the United States”; it’s also suggestive of “scrotum”. Tee-hee-hee!! And I’ve ordered nine whoopee cushions for the next State of the Union address.

Obama: Let’s try to be mature about this, shall we? I think one whoopee cushion, for the Chief Justice, sends the right message without encroaching on bad taste. Well, if there’s nothing else, let’s call it a day. I’m on the road again tomorrow to sell my health care plan. Oh, and David. Somebody hacked into my teleprompter when I was giving my spiel in Missouri or wherever it was and the damned thing began running text from one of Billy Mays’ old television commercials.

Axelrod: Ah! That would explain why the White House switchboard has been lighting up with calls from people wanting to buy Oxy-Clean. I’ll get right on it, Mr. President.