Friday, February 3, 2012

Yeah, that sounds like a great idea

The government already regulates tobacco and alcohol, so, sure, let's go ahead and let it regulate sugar.


"Drop the Dixie Crystals, low life!"

15 comments:

Steve Burri said...

The Obama Justice Department issued a warrant today for the arrest of one Detective Paco for suspicion of trafficking in incandescent light bulbs, pure came sugar, promoting global warming denial, and distribution of pocket copies of the U.S. Constitution. Preparations are being made in Guantanamo for his incarceration.

jonah said...

There's no link to the journal Nature so no actual names of "researchers at UCSF" are provided which makes me think...
Hell I can't even think anymore.
These people are slowly grinding me down.

Paco said...

They'll never take Detective Paco! He possesses Letters of Transit signed by Rep. Darrell Issa.

rinardman said...

Will you have to be 21, to buy sugar?

And what's the fine if you get stopped while driving, with an open container of sugar?

"He blew a .85 on the sugarlyzer, Your Honor!"

JeffS said...

Yeah, just what we need -- more funding for nanny state morons.

JeffS said...

By the way, if you aren't aware of the fact, virtually everything any living thing consumes becomes toxic once intake is too high. Yes, even drinking water and breathing oxygen, although the conditions for those are extreme.

So this paper approaches new levels of weapon grade stupid by using the word "toxic".

JeffS said...

By the way, Jonah, there's no link to the article because Nature is by subscription, and the article was posted on 1 February.

But if you want to lay down thirty two clams, you can read the article instantly.

JeffS said...

Sorry, bad link!

RebeccaH said...

I envision low-riding SUVs and 18-wheelers on the interstates, smuggling sugar cubes. Naturally, Obama will have to appoint a Sugar Czar and a whole new agency dedicated to cracking down on illegal sugar sales. Michelle will make PSA's about just saying No To Sugar, and the public schools will get federal money for programs teaching school children about the evils of sugar intake. College students will hold demonstrations in front of the corporate headquarters of Big Sugar, and they'll have mascots dressed as beets. In the dead of night, the Sugar-Free Liberation Front will conduct raids on cane farms.

And somewhere, in the bowels of Foggy Bottom, some wizened bureaucrat will be hunched over his computer, dreaming of taking on Big Chocolate.

Paco said...

Big Chocolate! Haw!

richard mcenroe said...

The Coast Guard released three Colombian fishermen today when it was discovered the white powdery substance they were smuggling was merely cocaine...

richard mcenroe said...

Copy this out in Mistral script format:

"What the bearer has done has been done by my will and for the good of the state. R."

Then seal it in wax with your class ring. Should fool 'em.

Paco said...

That should come in handy (now, off to Ft. Knox!)

Yojimbo said...

Pretty soon those cigarette boats will by carrying a double cargo.

To paraphrase that woman in Donovan's Reef: "Oh we don't call it sugar, we prefer to call it West Indies goods."

If Bloomberg gets re-elected in New York you can look for the return of speakeasies where, with the right password, you can comfortably dine on a trans fat laden meal with real sugar in your coffee.

Michael Lonie said...

Having decided that sugar is a controlled substance, the New Class will then decide that sugar substitutes are also toxic and must be forbidden.

There is a class of people in this nation who seem to spend all their time thinking up ways to make mischief for their fellow citizens. It is neccessary to deprived them of all access to power and influence and roll back their decades of interference with peoples' lives.